Uuugh.

Can I say it again?

Uuugh.

I've got man flu.

At first I thought it was an allergy to my Christmas Tree. I needed a new one and popped off to the local 'we sell everything' shop where I was confronted with blue ones, pink ones, white ones, black ones, ones with lights, ones without, ones with pine cones and berries and ones which looked like loo brushes. And then I saw it. The artificial tree of my dreams. It was covered with snow and looked like it has just been plucked from an Alaskan forest. So I bought it. Back at home I undid the box and to my horror discovered I had to attach each branch of the six foot monstrosity individually. By the time I finished, the entire front room - me and the cats included - were smothered in artificial snow.

An hour afterwards I was sneezing out white stuff.

And now, three days later, I'm wrapped up in a blanket with a lemsip and a packet of Olbas Oil tissues with a nose Rudolph would be proud of.

Getting a cold in the festive season is not a good idea - especially when there are presents to buy and wrap, cards to write, and Woolworths to tackle. (Actually, I have no intention of going to Woolies and queuing for four hours just to get 75% off a spoon which only cost £1.50 to start with. Some people really amaze me!) So this year I've made use of my fingertips and have done a little bit online, probably saving myself a fair bit of money and loads of hassle in the process.

Once upon a time I used to LOVE Christmas shopping, but now I can't stand it. Last week, me and my Mum (bad grammar, I know) traipsed the entire town looking for clothes for Dan. Did we find anything? Course we didn't. (What the hell is men's fashion all about these days?) Anyway, frustrated, I called Dan and under duress he agreed to meet me in town last Saturday. He took me to the one and only shop my Mum and I had missed and picked out about ten different things he liked. Of course, he didn't want to know what I was getting him, so I made a mental map of the shop floor and where it all was, and went back in today...

...to find that they had not only completely re-arranged the place, but had taken 9 of the 10 items he'd chosen off the shelves, ready for the Boxing Day sale.

I was LIVID.

Talking of my Mum...she was in hospital yesterday having not very pleasant things done to her.
She suffers really badly with arthritis...in her spine and pelvis to name just two places...and after years of to-ing and fro-ing and tablets and therapy and doctors appointments and walking sticks and godknowswhat else, they sizzled the nerves in her back.

Ouch.

We've all got our fingers crossed that this treatment will work, because if it does, she'll be pain free for about six months, after which she'll be able to have it done again. I can remember the time when she boogied on down on the summer house roof (after climbing up there)! So to see her almost immobile now is awful.

We're rooting for you, Mum. x

Ok...I'm off to switch on my new electric blanket, blow out my scented candles which I can't bloody smell, and then I think I'll curl up on the sofa under my blanket with my scarf on, and wait for one of those Knights in Shining Armour to spoon feed me something wonderful.